A Sledgehammer Mothers’ Day (slightly late)

Yesterday was Mothers’ Day, so I decided to write a little bit about my mom.

The problem is, I don’t want to be sappy, and if I told any of the funny mom stories in public, she’d probably never speak to me again. And I like my mom, so that’s not an option.

My mom is smart, funny, and better-looking than me, which isn’t fair. She’s fun to hang around with, she knows what to do when you’re hurt and she gives awesome advice.

My mom is also my biggest fan. This is normally a good thing, but lately, my duties at work have shifted a little bit and I’ve been writing news for the paper on a nearly-daily basis. I’ve more or less taken an unplanned hiatus from writing my blog, Oh Look! A Shiny Thing! in order to concentrate on the rest of the job.

Unfortunately, my mom is my biggest fan. Every time I see her now, she asks me why I haven’t written anything on my blog lately.

I went home to visit my parents.

“You need to blog more!”

“I know, mom, but I’m kind of busy with other work.”

I went home again at Easter.

“What happened to your blog?”

“I’m sorry! I’ll try to write more!”

But I haven’t.

I’m not a very good daughter, it seems, and I’m starting to get a little bit worried about my biggest fan. I keep thinking about that “Misery” movie — you know, the one based on a book by Stephen King? The one where an author gets held hostage by a crazed fan who forces him to write by threatening him with a sledgehammer?

Now I’m not saying my mom is crazy, but she is my mom, so the way I figure it, she’s got about a fifty-fifty chance of being a little bit, well… strange. Those odds aren’t all that great.

So for Mothers’ Day, here you go, mom. Here’s a blog post, just for you.

I love you.

Please don’t break my ankles.